Goddess preserve us.
I do not understand this division between who I am and what I do. Sounds like an issue. A serious, damaging psychological issue. If I write poetry, am I not a poet? If I fight fires, am I not a firefighter? If I play D&D, am I not a geek? Sorry about that last one...
Speaking from personal experience, I did NOT know who I was. I did, however, know who I was NOT. It took me a while, and a serious false start, to acknowledge who I was. And who I am, who I love, is an intrinsic part of a happy and healthy me. And isn't that really the important thing here? The ultimate quests? To be healthy and happy? To know Love and to help it spread in this world where there is far too little of it?
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Love is the Law, Love under Will.
May the Goddess, in Her Infinite Wisdom and Compassion, forgive you for your crimes against yourself and humanity. I won't.